worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
