So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
