maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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