he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
