So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
