I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
