I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
