I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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