My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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