I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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