her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
