ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
