dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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