May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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