This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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