If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
