in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
