I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize