he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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