is your mom at the bar?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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