Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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