This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
jump out the window naked night went bad
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
