I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
