she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
