PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
