She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
