idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
