Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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