Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
