You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
