He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize