Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
