Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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