return my video game
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
