two words: eviction party
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
