When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
