This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My bed smells like the plague
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize