So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize