Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
