Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
