How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward