Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
