Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
