Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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