cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
