You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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