She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
did you just send me my own nude
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
