Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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