Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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