we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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