I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
