Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My balls are so social today.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
