so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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