I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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