I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
