i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
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I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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