Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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