I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize