That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
