So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
