I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
