Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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