if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You ate ashes out of my bong
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
