what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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