Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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