non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How does one acquire holy water?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
