If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Houston, we have a blender
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
